Sunday, 10 October 2010

im in a band...sadface


Max here, ive opened this blog fairly bleakly as you can see...This is a little story highlighting one of the many downfalls as having your profession as something very unprofessional...

I went to the doctors this week because i had a sore throat..(sadfaceagain) but thats not the whole story...i went in on friday, saw the queue and walked out thinking saturday will be a much better day to go to the doctors...back in on saturday no queue (loving it) made it into the little room with the nurse she sat me down and said whats wrong with you? (fairly abrupt for a nurse but i was understanding as im sure she has plenty of timewasters through her door everyday) i said ive been suffering from a very sore throat...discussing the extent of my sore throat he seemed fairly worried and endearing towards my situation...she then asked what i did for a living, i said oh im in a band (thinking this will go down a treat she'll definitely think im cool)...her face dropped and instantly blamed all my health issues on my lifestyle and face then dropped realising that to this particular nurse it wasnt cool to be in a band in fact band=bad health = bad person...hence the sadface...

Having barraged me with the woes of unhealthy living she moved swiftly on and placed a small bottle on the table...and no word of a lie all she says is right...chlamydia testing...By this point i was feeling fairly righteous about my career choice and wanted to prove that us band boys are not all like keith (richards)...i took the bottle and walked right out the door heading for the toilet to fill my everest of a bottle with untainted chlamydia free urine...(i also made a joke which the sourfaced nurse didnt get...
"urine luck" that i havent been to the loo today..with hindsight she may have got it and chosen not to laugh but either way i knew i was in control of the situation)

but i moved so hastily that i didnt quite catch where she said the toilet was, i wandered around the surgery for a good ten minutes acting as if i knew where i was going, then had to go back into the room and ask for directions....still in control of the situation...fuck knows what she thought id been doing for the last ten minutes...made it to the toilet performed well (9/10) but wigged out putting the lid back on and spilt half of it on the way back to the room...

now stinking of piss and a bottle lid that refused to go on this pesky nemesis i had to walk through the ward to give the bottle to the lady at the desk..she just said what do you want me to do with that? informed me it had to go back to that fucking nurse who i knew would have an even more disappointed glaze over her eyes as i walked in...the only way was to go in with my head held high as if the mission had gone perfectly knowing full well the lady at the desk was going to relay the confusion to the nurse after id gone anyway. walked straight into her room and handed her the vile vial (asked her to put the lid back on for me..which took even longer because she had to put rubber gloves on)...the ordeal was pretty much over but i still wasnt willing to be pigeonholed into a stereotype, which is when she pulled out about a hundred condoms and said would you like these?

i STORMED out and sternly muttered 'i dont need them ive got loads'....god i looked like an idiot...

anwyay sorry...had to get that off my chest real blog coming up full of cool stuff


  1. hope you are getting better… sore throat is not a lot of fun its just uncomfortable and difficult to swallow.

    usually, i would take the Nim Jiom Cough Syrup ( ) which has a thick consistency formulation. it coats the throat and includes herbs that are particularly good for that application.

    i hope it works on you as well.

  2. thanks jane i know this is along way on but the sore throats reared its fucking ugly head again...ill get on ordering that shit right away x PCE